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Dear big brother

Look at what your little sister achieved last month whilst she was in Hong Kong? I finally got to visit a Toastmasters club in Hong Kong after two previous failed attempts!  I felt ever so proud of myself because I got myself there without any help from anyone. I asked for directions when I got out of the MTR station and the building for the Toastmasters meeting was only a few minutes from where I was. I had so much fun and learned a few things from this particular club that I shall share with my own club.

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Please meet my mother in law’s sister who is seventh in the family. She is ever so energetic, enthusiastic, kind and generous. We clicked the first time we met in Hong Kong back in 2015, I think!? Haha   This energetic woman spoiled me when she took me to the bakers for some cakes for our train journey back to Hong Kong from Guangzhou where she lives. She insisted on buying something for mum and I allowed her to because it’s their tradition. We were there visiting my mother in law’s sisters and extended family for a day which was more than enough due to the intense heat and humidity which felt more powerful than Hong Kong. I don’t think you would have enjoyed the stay there because Cory, Calvin and I certainly didn’t!  The a/c was practically none-existent which made our stay far too sticky, hot and humid. Even the a/c in our hotel room was weak. The hotel room we stayed in was extravagant, luxurious and by far more spacious than you would ever find in Hong Kong. I felt like a celebrity staying in it for the one night! Haha

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Look at the bathroom in the hotel!  It had a separate shower situated at the other corner of the bathroom!  You could easily make two bedrooms in this room! Or stand 40 people in it! Haha

Oh let me tell you something, getting to Guangzhou was full of challenges left, right and centre. I am put off from travelling there ever again. It was time and energy consuming just to get my China visa in place. The logistics took what felt like forever! Vincent, my awesome laidback hubby helped me with all the processes of applying for this visa which cost a fortune. He was much more laidback than me with his logical mind. I was feeling more than totally exhausted when we needed to walk here and there in the intense heat and humidity in Hong Kong. However, I am grateful that I got to experience Guangzhou and have more stories to share with people. Hehe

Let me tell you a few things about our Wan Chai Airbnb. The apartment by far is exceptionally spacious for Hong Kong property.  That was one of the reasons why I wanted it. Three bedrooms with two bathrooms which to me, is an added luxury and bonus. However, imagine how shocked I was to see that the en-suite was not as I had thought it to be!  Definitely not how en-suites are built here in Scotland!  It was ever so poorly built which meant whenever you peed or pooped in it, the smell would pass into the bedroom because it was not a fully separate room. I felt ever so uncomfortable pooping in the bathroom because it felt like pooping in our bedroom, that created more tension for my “travellers constipation”!  Yes, Google told me that there is and I do suffer from “travellers constipation!  How pleasant to know eh?  I took laxatives each day whilst in Hong Kong to combat my constipation. Anyway, back to this Airbnb, on the first night there, I was scared out of my knickers when I heard for the first time, in our bedroom that the building was shaking. I thought we were having an earthquake! Only it was the old and loud air conditioning unit making shaking and shuddering noises loudly at regular intervals. I couldn’t get a sound sleep each night and would sleep on the couch in the living room. The living room at night was much cooler than our bedroom. I didn’t feel the need to have the a/c on. It was so peaceful. Now, let me tell you about the wifi that was as troublesome as me! It was slow, weak and lacked power. Calvin would complain about it everyday. Charles and Calvin would regularly take the piss out of the weak wifi. They eventually found a clever solution to this. They searched for an internet cafe nearby. Charles took Cory and Calvin there one night. Then another morning after Charles stayed over, he took Calvin there as soon as they got out of bed, went to the same internet cafe and had lunch together before they came back to the Airbnb.

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Do you understand what this notice is asking you to do?  I think it was translated using Google Translate! Haha   This notice was displayed in the bathroom that Cory and Calvin used in the apartment. They both told me on our first night that the hot water was scolding hot and the cold water fucking freezing cold! Ouch!

Cory spent most of his money he brought over on clothes, shoes, a new watch and a smaller suitcase to fit all of his Hong Kong purchases. He went shopping on his own most days. There were a few days that I joined him with Calvin and we had sushi in a shopping mall in Kuen Tong. Calvin thoroughly enjoyed the experience because it was his favourite sushi restaurant. He has become a sushi addict since last year when Charles got him into sushi.

Cory enjoyed having Charles around and they built a close bond. Charles talks to anyone and he’s an extrovert who has some talent in getting people to get along. Charles took Cory over to his part of Hong Kong, Sham Shui Po for some shopping but Cory was disappointed with the merchandise.

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Look at how happy I was with mum. She came over to ours on the last night in Hong Kong so that we could all travel to the airport early next morning for our early morning flight back to Glasgow. We had dinner that night with my mother in law in Central. My sister in law Elsa and her hubby joined us. It was a pleasant dinner which was quite reasonably priced.

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Do you like this photo? There was a small exhibition in Wan Chai. Vincent and I went exploring here on our own for us time.  It was quiet and didn’t impress Vincent at all. Hehe  Vincent and I got more us time this year because we had Cory in the apartment to be there for Calvin whenever we wanted to be on our own. We did less activities this year because I asked for more relaxing time instead of rushing here there and everywhere. I thoroughly enjoyed the more lazy and relaxed holiday this year.

 

20180713_172754 Did you ever get to taste this smelly as “pig’s shit” durian? I don’t remember seeing you eating it or remembering you talk about it. I bought this for the first time in Hong Kong at a stall near our apartment. It cost more than 300 HK dollars for this small lot yet well worth it because I deserve it. It tasted a lot sweeter than the durians we get in Glasgow. Vincent doesn’t like the smell of this smelly fruit yet he has, in the past, bought me the durian dessert with soy beans that’s smooth as a baby’s bottom. We had dessert in my favourite place called Auntie Sweet in Tin Hau. Cory, Calvin, Vincent and me, after dinner one night. Guess what dessert I ordered? Hehe

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Look at what I spotted in the bookshop that was on the main road from our Airbnb?  I wanted to buy all of them! I could easily spend all day here. There were many English titled books! Hehe

Calvin didn’t want to go to Disneyland without Charles because Charles went to summer camp a few days before we were due to fly back to Glasgow. Calvin wasn’t disappointed as he was last year about not going to Disneyland. I think it’s because Calvin is becoming more mature. He enjoyed having Charles around at our Airbnb and that’s all that mattered to him. I could see that they thoroughly enjoyed spending time together no matter what it was they were doing. I am grateful that we have Charles to keep Calvin occupied.

I thoroughly enjoyed flying to and from Hong Kong with mum next to me. I asked her a number of questions about my childhood and she told me many stories about me, you, Tony, dad and our extended family. It was a much needed time to bond without dad there moaning, ranting and complaining. Hehe

What was most enjoyable about being in Hong Kong this year for me? I think it was:  flying back with mum and Cory which was a pleasant first experience even thought it had it’s challenges. Having Cory with us throughout the entire holiday which gave me lots of time to bond with him. Having dinner in Nam Wah Po with mum and her extended family was another pleasant first experience. Having dinner with cousin Chi Wing and his wife in Tai Po. Getting to meet my mother in law’s sisters and extended family in Guangzhou. Having quality bonding time with my awesome Aussie hubby. Last, was receiving all of our gifts from everyone. We were all totally spoiled. I am still reminiscing about all the good and happy times we all had even though being in the intense heat and humidity of Hong Kong was exhausting. There were so many first experiences for all of us. I want to do it all over again.

On a more sombre note, I missed you more when I was in Hong Kong because I know we would have had so much fun together going back to our birth place and exploring together. There’s a part of me who felt angry that this opportunity was taken away from me so soon!

I could tell you about this relaxing Hong Kong holiday all day yet I have tasks to complete. Hehe

Last, I want to tell you that I feel ever so blessed to have had this opportunity to bond with mum and Cory for the first time in Hong Kong. Bye for now big brother!

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ask and you shall receive

Relationships are the most challenging things us human beings deal with on a daily basis. No matter who we talk to, or surround ourselves with, we have a relationship with that person, even if it is a brief moment. I once heard from a personal development CD by Stephen Shapiro, “Poor quality relationships, poor quality of life”.  I had a gargantuan lump in my throat and intense pain in my heart when I heard those words. I felt that due to my dysfunctional family set up, I had poor relationships with my sons and my loved ones. I was exceptionally fortunate to have been introduced to personal development at a time when I was going through dark times. I needed help, not from a doctor or therapist. I needed help to teach me how I could have richer relationships with my loved ones instead of the painful ones I was having.

It has been an utmost painful journey of self development over the past six years and nine months to help me get more of what I want from life. My relationships with my loved ones are of a higher quality. They may not be where I want them to be, yet I am making consistent progress. I ask for my needs, wants and desires met.

At the beginning of this year, I asked for something for the very first time. That something materialised on Monday 12th March as I drove to the airport to pick up my awesome Aussie hubby. He flew over to Glasgow, Scotland from Sydney, Australia to celebrate my 46th birthday with me. I wanted to be spoiled rotten for my birthday by my Aussie hubby. I wanted the dinner, cinema, birthday cake and more.

How good are you at asking for what you want from your partner?  Do you leave it to dropping them hints here and there, in the hopes that they get your message? Do you leave it to their guessing what you like and dislike then hope for the best? Do you think that it is their responsibility to know what you want at any given time?  Nobody can read minds, thank fuck!   It would be an absolute nightmare if any of us could read others minds!  Let me tell you from my personal experience with relationships of any sort, if you don’t ask, you shall never ever receive. Simple!  Ask and you have a fifty fifty chance of getting what you want. That’s fifty per cent higher than you NOT asking.

I have become a master at asking for my needs, wants and desires to be met because I am deserving of all good things. One of the main problems people have with their limiting beliefs is: “Oh I don’t want to ask because it’s going to be too much trouble. I don’t want to put people out of their way.  I don’t want to be a pest. I don’t think they will like it if I asked.” This is how our limiting beliefs holds us back from getting what we want. We are talented at telling ourselves what we don’t want day in day out. What we think about and give our time and focus to, multiplies. Be exceptionally aware of this. It is how the law of attraction works.  How many of us know for certain of what it is that they do want and focus on it?

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I received this birthday cake from my awesome Aussie hubby because I asked for it. I deserved it.

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I realised that balloons was missing from my birthday. I asked a group of people who were sat next to me on my birthday dinner. The young man was celebrating his 21st birthday. I was thinking he would not mind giving me his balloons. I boldly stepped over to their table and asked for these balloons. They may not be pink. They may not have “Happy birthday Kit” on them. Yet they were good enough for me!

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I asked hubby to go ten pin bowling with me. Here we were with Calvin and he had a ball!  Oops! Sorry for the pun, it was intended! Haha

For my birthday present, I asked for money from hubby to attend my second Toastmasters Conference in Cork, Ireland this May. I asked and I received.

For the ladies reading this, and men, never ever make assumptions that your partner or hubby/wife knows for sure of what you want without telling them. Never ever play this sort of game. It’s unhealthy, especially when you are disappointed because you failed to ask. Also, never ever drop hints here and there. They do at times, fail too. You want something from your partner, just ask. It is NOT rocket science to ask for what you want. You definitely don’t need a phd to ask for what you want. You just need to know what exactly you want with certainty. Go forth and ask. Ask and you shall receive!

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As we welcome the first day of March 2018, this is the snowy and beautiful scenery all over my city, Glasgow in Scotland today!

Yes I hear you say “Oh what beautiful snow!

I totally agree with you. I have always enjoyed the snow since I was a child. As an adult, it’s absolute chaos travelling in it.

Us Glaswegians have not had this much snow, approximately six inches, that’s six cans of Irn Bru stacked on top of one another height, for over eight years and more. Our City Council is ill equipped to handle this much snow and the crippling demands that comes with it. This means that our city has been a ghost city, grounded to a halt with no buses running yesterday after our Red Alert weather warning. Trains and flights are cancelled. Nurseries, schools, colleges and universities are all closed. Most shops and some shopping centres are closed. We are staying at home to stay safe from six inches of snow, the bitter wind and freezing cold.

I had an event with my fellow Toastmasters this afternoon that was cancelled and rescheduled for later this month. My smear test scheduled for this morning was also cancelled because my nurse was unable to get to her work. Nothing major and nobody died! Haha

Our motorways are sluggish and dangerous for drivers and their passengers. Disruption is all over the country and behind. My eldest son’s friend is stuck and stranded in France, unable to get his flight back to Glasgow. An Emirates flight, from Dubai was reported to have circled around Glasgow yesterday afternoon for over an hour, because our airport’s runway was being cleared of snow and ice. Thankfully it was finally able to land safely onto our airport’s tarmac.

There have been some unfortunate travellers stranded at Glasgow Airport going nowhere due to our snow. They have been taken care of by some generous staff and volunteers. However, the stranded passengers must feel absolutely exhausted and grumpy from whatever challenges they are facing.

I am extremely fortunate to have had no chaos in my travel plans because I had no plans to travel anywhere far from home. Haha

I can sympathise with those who were or are stuck and struggling to get to their destinations, especially those with health issues, children and any other issues that they are finding an exceptional struggle. It is in times like these that we must step back and be grateful for everything that we have. I have a roof over my head, with running water, heating, food and all the other basic necessities for my survival. The homeless are the ones who are struggling the most. Thankfully, Glaswegians are fantastic at stepping up during these toughest times to offer whatever they possibly can to help out those in need.

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The above sight has not been around for me for over ten years or possibly more. I saw icicles on car’s front and back bumpers last night whilst I walked round the corner of home to get some grit from our local grit bin. The neighbourhood was like a ghost town. It was far too quiet for that time of the night (around 8.30pm).  I felt it was eerie to the point where I wondered if anyone was alive in Glasgow???

What challenges have you had to deal with due to adverse weather conditions? For me, it is being stuck at home with no adult interactions and unable to surround myself with people. I am an extrovert who gets energised from being around people. I was feeling bored, lonely and exhausted from having no people to surround myself with yesterday and again the exact same today.

I called my friend from Toastmasters for a chat and we organised to meet up on Sunday to celebrate our two years of committing to Toastmasters. That excites me superbly! Hehe

Walking in fresh snow this morning felt rather tranquil and relaxing.  The streets were dead and as quiet as a mouse. The one major struggle was the bitter cold and freezing wind! I didn’t die walking to and from my doctor’s surgery to have my smear test which was cancelled. I felt energised from my ten minute walk! Hehe

Glasgow City Council has announced that their nurseries and schools shall remain closed tomorrow, Friday 2nd March. How likely am I to get into work tomorrow? I miss the adult interactions so much I am becoming grumpier as the minute ticks by. I may murder someone due to my boredom! Haha

I wonder how long our snow is planning on staying with us? The white layer of fluffy stuff does look beautiful yet we must continue to get to their work and children need to get back to school as soon as possible for our sanity and peace! Haha

Meanwhile, here’s my last photo I want to share with you!

Happy first day of March 2018 to you all! Hehe

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Decision making 2

When was the last time you were stuck with making an important decision? What a huge dilemma!!!

I am rarely indecisive because I am self assured and go with the flow…….why? I am a doer!  I do things, I make things happen, without thinking of the consequences at all…….which has it’s pros and cons. I rarely think of the consequences of my actions because I rarely think at all!!  That is who and what I am. When I do think, I get drained by all the details, the specifics, the what if’s and but’s and it totally sucks the happiness out of me. I think I am allergic to the negatives of thinking……of the consequences. Of all the what if’s and but’s that comes through my head. Why think so much and spend so much of my valuable time thinking when I could be doing, of being productive and getting results? Although the results may not be ideal and productive, I think one learns from doing ten times more than thinking!

My Aussie hubby tells me that I suffer the consequences of NOT planning the details and specifics of my plans in advance, which has detrimental consequences to my well being and health. He said I am missing out on stuff and things which has been a disadvantage, in his opinion. I do understand his point of view. Yet, how many times have I did something without thinking too much into it and learned from my mistakes than planning it to the last minute detail and coming up with all the irrational fears of “What if this happens and what if that happens” which only creates irrational fears for me to think about?

Missing out on stuff and things can be a disadvantage?  Yes and no. I think I would miss out ten times more from not taking action due to my irrational fears of the “What if’s and but’s” than I would from planning my actions to the tiniest little detail. To argue this point, there are times when it is totally vital and imperative to planning everything in minute detail, such as flying to a destination where we need our passport, travel insurance and all the other essentials necessary to enjoy our holiday. Minimise all potential risks and mistakes for a stress free holiday is my motto since I have gained much more experience and knowledge of travelling from flying since 2012.

I have a gargantuan issue with time. I was the caretaker in my family, taking care of everyone else other than myself. My needs, wants and desires were abandoned, neglected and dismissed. Due to this being a colossal part of my life until I decided to become a single mother and set myself free from my unfulfilled marriage, I never had the freedom to be my true authentic self. I never had the freedom to make mistakes, make decisions for myself and my life. Life is about trial and error. How do we know when a decision is the wrong or inappropriate one when we never make mistakes? How do we learn from life when we never make any mistakes? Not making a decision is still making a decision. The decision to procrastinate. Procrastination is the killer to progress and fulfillment in life.

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I think the biggest difference in the thinkers and doers is the obvious one which is: thinkers think of all the things that could and would go wrong when making a decision because they are in their heads 90% of the time, whilst the doers are exactly the opposite. They are doing and taking action 90% of the time. Yes they make more mistakes than the thinkers, why?  They are the ones who are comfortable with making mistakes, again and again!  They learn more effectively from their mistakes than sitting and thinking of all the “What if’s and but’s” or as my Aussie hubby says “The consequences”!

Fuck the consequences because there are consequences to every little or big decision that we make. Our decision could be fool proof. It could be what we think is the perfect decision. It could be what we think “Nothing could go wrong” or “I have minimised all the possible things that could ever go wrong”. How much time is required to minimise all the possible things that could go wrong with any important decision we make? By the time a thinker has thought of all the actions they could take to minimise all of the possible things that could go wrong, I have already completed that same task.

Mistakes are deadly to thinkers 90% more than the doers. Doers are more comfortable with taking risks. Even the higher risks. Maybe one could argue that the doers are far too hasty, irrational and dysfunctional. Maybe they are right. I am certainly irrational when it comes to making decisions. I make my decisions based on my feelings. There is no rational thinking with me because I am ever so connected with my feelings. However, last night, I was faced with such a colossal dilemma with an important decision, I asked for the opinion of my middle son who was available (which is exceptionally rare) and my Aussie hubby in order to get their opinion and perspective. I wanted to have more information and details, which drains me and it was vital for my decision. I was amazed at my decision to get others’ opinions and perspective which is exceedingly out of my character. I was highly proud of myself for NOT making a hasty and rushed decision where the high risks could have cost me unnecessary ill health and negative emotions.

I think Jim Rohn has taught me well, exceptionally. He taught me that whenever I am faced with difficulties with making an important decision, to get pen and paper out. to write out what my issue is, write out my possible solutions, write out the pros and cons to each solution that I could possibly think of. This works for me. Thank goodness!

Happy Valentine’s Day to you beautiful people! What did you receive for Valentine’s Day?

I think this carry on with Valentine’s Day has become far too commercialised. Retailers, hotels, restaurants, florists, pubs, beauty salons, holiday destinations and more are all exploiting Valentine’s Day to increase their profits. Anyone in a business tries everything they possibly can to exploit and to take advantage of those who do not want to miss out on receiving gifts, in order to make them feel loved. I remember falling for this trap, that has become more expensive and ridiculous as the years passes. Receiving gifts, especially for women, gives us the feeling that someone was thinking of us, that we are worthy of spending the much more expensive bunch of flowers, chocolates, dinner by candlelight and much more. This gift receiving increases our self worth which to me, is dysfunctional and unhealthy. None of us need gifts to increase our self worth.

We need to fall in love with ourselves first. We need to accept ourselves for who and what we are. We need to love ourselves unconditionally. We need to show our flaws, imperfections, mistakes, scars, wounds, bruises and vulnerabilities. We need to be authentic and true with ourselves. We need to love everything about ourselves and our bodies ladies.

I remember demanding a bunch of flowers be given to me for my Valentine’s Day a number of years ago, in order for me to show off my worth!  Not many women likes to be left out and or missing out on receiving gifts on Valentine’s Day. Some women even go to the lengths of paying for a bunch of flowers to be sent to their work and have their colleagues believe that she has a special man in her life when she is single. How sad I hear you say?  I think it’s a fantastic idea because she loves herself to spend that sort of money on herself. Would I do it?  Absolutely no fucking way!  It is a personal choice. I am an extremely practical girl. Spending a small fortune on a bunch of flowers that has had it’s price increased because it is Valentine’s Day, in order to fill a void in my life?  Fuck off!  I would save that money towards a holiday, a life experience that I get to create memories for years to come. A bunch of flowers from the florist lasts a maximum of ten days to fourteen, if you can stretch it that far! Haha

Since I began my personal development journey over six and a half years ago, I have learned to fall in love with myself, with my life, with my body and with who and what I was born to be. I sent myself Valentine’s cards when I knew no one would. I sent myself postcards too whilst I was travelling in foreign land. I bought myself flowers whenever I wanted. I treated myself to whatever I wanted to because I deserved to. I went to the cinema on my own for the first time last year. I have learned to spoil myself rotten because I deserve to.

ladies, save your man’s money on Valentine’s Day and ask him to spoil you throughout the year which is cheaper and more cheerful. There’s no need to conform to society’s expectations and unspoken standards that men must spoil us rotten on Valentine’s Day or it means that they don’t love us or value us. Be smarter than falling for the exploitation of the commercialised businesses.

Why does men have such a hard time pleasing his lady throughout the year and then on Valentine’s Day too? Give your man a break and ask him what he wants for his Valentine’s Day? Spoil your man rotten for his Valentine’s Day because he deserves it too.

Would you like to know what I received for my Valentine’s?  A mushy Valentine’s card and an entire box of chocolates that was a gargantuan surprise. That’s all I received. No expensive flowers from the florist, no higher price dinner or theatre. No, absolutely none. Why?  I told my Aussie hubby that I think Valentine’s Day is merely a way for businesses to rake in extra money at the expensive of the weak and vulnerable. I told him that I think we need to show our love to our special someone throughout the year and not do it on this particular day in order for businesses to take advantage of us.

Let’s be smarter with our man’s money and save it for memories that we create throughout the year. Fuck Valentine’s day!

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I’m exhausted, drained and feeling so fed up with my aches and pains from life. I wake up in our freezing and dark mornings to the music from my alarm clock, to cook breakfast for my twelve year old son Calvin,  in order for him to get a cooked breakfast before he leaves for school. I was never looked after like this from my parents when I got into high school. I want to give this to Calvin because he deserves it. It also allows him to eat breakfast with his mum instead of either going without breakfast or eating on his own which he detests. He would rather not eat go at all or go for something that doesn’t give him the vital nutrients that his growing body requires for optimal health.

I long to feel as energetic as I did when I was a little child. I long to have the unconditional love from my parents. I would love to have the freedom and the right to make my own choices, even though my choices could be wrong. Making wrong choices is the only way to learn what is right and what is wrong for me and my life. I long to have the total freedom to be who and what I was born to be. Loud and proud. Noisy and crazy. Funny and witty. Speaks my mind to express my thoughts and feelings, with no intentions of offending anyone.

I long to have the freedom to do whatever I want with my time, instead of taking care of others who do not love me unconditionally. I would love to have my valuable time back where I could just be me. The person I was born to be. The person I longed to be. The person who longed to be free to be who she is. I have accumulated a tonne of aches and pains from being controlled and abused from my dysfunctional and unhealthy family system. I dream of being born into a functional and healthy family system. I dream of having functional and healthy parents and siblings. I dream of having boundaries and a solid structure in my life, instead of being told to go here and there or told to do this and that, without the freedom to refuse.

I am struggling immensely to parent my inner child and inner teen. They are exceptionally demanding and difficult to parent because I was not parented in a functional and healthy manner.  On a productive day, I get to complete all of my tasks that I had planned. On an unproductive day, I feel sick and exhausted from my aches and pains from life. On a sunny day like today, I want to get an many tasks completed as possible because the sunshine lifts me up. On a dull and deary day, I just want to be a couch potato and binge watch my favourite TVB drama. I just want to do absolutely nothing and spoil myself with what I enjoy doing as a child. I just want to play like I did as a child in Hong Kong, with big brother and cousin Becky. Those were my happiest days of my childhood. I miss those days so much!

Being a single mother with three sons, who were also born into a dysfunctional family system, my two older sons were taught by their dad’s mother that boys don’t do housework.  I have struggled and been challenged to have them help me with our housework. My two older sons were never taught to get into the good and responsible habit of helping around our home with housework. Calvin, who was cared for by my parents, since he was a baby, was taught mainly by my mum, to help around the home with housework. Calvin is smart to negotiate with me on getting pocket money for helping me with our housework nowadays because he’s focused on saving money. He knows that he deserves to be paid for his valuable time and effort. I would never have been this smart to negotiate with my parents for helping with housework. Nor was I taught that I deserved to get something for my valuable time and effort.

I long to have been valued and felt important to my parents. I long to have a healthier and more loving relationship with my parents. Sadly, that shall never happen. Sadly, that has not happened in my current job either. That is why I have handed in my notice. I learned from this current job, that I need to feel I am valued and feel important to my employer. This has been an insightful lesson in my life.

Awesome Quotes New Beginnings God

I am due to start a new job next week with a new employer, who has already shown me that they value their employees. I am grateful that my vision ( which I wrote at the beginning of last month)  for my ideal job is becoming a reality. Woo hoo!  I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel!  The aches and pains from this current job shall end at the end of this week. I am absolutely delighted and bursting with excitement. I also have butterflies churning inside my tummy, with an exuberant load of anxiety due to me going into the unknown with a new job. I got into a new job this time last year and only lasted five weeks in it. I think my subconscious mind is anxious about this.  Leaving this current job is the most constructive thing to do for my inner peace and happiness.

Bring on next week and the uncertainties because I am embracing them all!

Woo Hoo!  Happy first of February everyone!

What challenges did you face weather wise last month? Here in Glasgow, Scotland, we had snow (and more snow),  hail, wind, rain, freeeeezing temperatures and rarely the odd sunshine hours to pick up our dull, deary and depressing moods!

We woke up to this sunshine this morning…….

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I was happier than Larry because January for me, due to my suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder, is draining, depressing and exceptionally dull. I crave sugary, fatty and salty foods. Any food that heightens my emotions. I’ve been fortunate enough to have found St John’s Wart from Holland and Barrett, my Lumie Brightspark lightbox and my positive mental attitude from six and a half years of personal development to keep me sane during this most challenging winter! My moods during this tough winter has been lifted from the daily dose of St John’s Wart. Thank you!

The temperature had risen today and I was comfortable and warm wearing my lighter three in one winter jacket with my white cotton scarf and the Kangaroo hat that my Aussie hubby bought me.

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Look at the blue sky and white clouds?  This is a rare sight here in Glasgow, Scotland during our winter and “Summer”!  We are surrounded by dull cloudy skies 90% of our long, dark and freezing winters.  When we get this sort of blue sky and white clouds, it usually indicates a freezing night.

We usually get this blue sky and white clouds in May where we have a heatwave for a few days and that’s our “Summer”!

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Happy days for us because our days are becoming longer. Daffodils are on sale in supermarkets. Valentine’s Day merchandise are on sale in shops, stores and supermarkets. Today I saw Easter Eggs on sale at the supermarket!

Welcome to February Glasgow, Scotland!

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We have been warned of more snow on the way!………..AGAIN!

Embrace it everyone!

Waiting for a bus getting to my destination in the challenging weather this winter has been freezing my toes off!  We only had a few inches of snow and our roads was like an ice rink!  The bus that I was on one Tuesday evening, exactly two weeks ago,  after my Toastmasters meeting got stuck in the snow when it had stopped at a bus stop to allow passengers to get off.  It took the driver a few different manoeuvres to get the bus moving again. We were literally crawling along the road to the snow flurries that was falling down energetically. This journey home usually takes no more than twenty minutes. The snow flurries falling slowed my journey time and added more frustration for me and the bus driver.

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When I got off the bus………this was what I had to deal with. Walking in this snow!  I was dragging my feet that had my brown cosy boots on, getting home as fast as my legs were fit to carry me. Thank goodness I was well wrapped up with my layers, scarf, cosy Kangaroo hat and gloves to keep me warm! What was usually a five minute walk home, became a ten minute walk in the eerie and quiet street where it was absolutely still as a tomb. Ohhhhhhh!  How scary!

Get set for more snow and travel chaos Glasgow!

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How many of you set a New Year’s Resolution for 2018? How are you achieving it? Statistics indicate that a gargantuan 92% of people give up on their New Year’s Resolution before March. Why?

 

It’s a new year which means new beginnings, a new chapter and new opportunities.

Awesome Quotes New Beginnings God

I delivered a prepared speech last week at my Toastmasters club meeting about knowing what our why is!

We must know why we want to do something. Whatever we want from life, we must know why we want it.

January always heightens the emotions of those who have set themselves a New Year’s Resolution. They are excited about achieving their set resolution. Yet they have not did any of their required homework to get them to their goal.

The majority of people make New Year’s Resolutions, without knowing why they want to achieve their Resolution. They mainly focus on how to get there and neglect to ask themselves why they want to get their hands on their Resolution.

Focusing on the how to get to our Resolution exhausts us mentally and emotionally when we are faced with the daily challenges of life. Life is difficult enough without more unnecessary challenges. When we are focusing on the “how do I get  to my end result” of our Resolution, we do not have our “Why Power” as mentioned by Darren Hardy in his program “Living Your Best Year ever” which I asked for from my Aussie hubby. Darren Hardy informs his readers that having our “Why Power” is much more compelling and powerful than having a weak “How”.

Forget about the excitement of your New Year’s Resolution and start to focus on the Why! Why do you want to lose weight or go to the gym? Why do you want to stop smoking or gain more energy? Why do you want to earn more money or get a new job? The answer to your why is what pushes you to work on achieving your Resolution when the going gets tough, when you want to give up and quit.

By the end of January, as you are working towards your Resolution, your heightened emotions that you had at the beginning of January slowly disappears and dissipates. You are now left with no excitement to keep you focused on what you had set for yourself to accomplish. This is one of the many reasons why New Year’s Resolutions rarely work. It lacks the details. Without the details and specifics, we have no idea where we are heading. It is like getting inside a car, starting the engine, without knowing your destination. Why would you do that to yourself?

I know why I want to achieve every goal that I set for myself. There is a profound reason for each and every one of them. My reasons may sound crazy and impossible to some, yet to me, I am more than confident that I shall accomplish them because I trust myself and my capabilities.

Resilience

With six and a half years of personal development, I am well advanced and ahead than those who have not invested in the time and effort to work hard on themselves. They lack trust in their own beliefs, self confidence, self discipline and this is why they make up any excuse citing that no amount of personal development works.

I realised the value of personal development from my well established mentor Jim Rohn whom I never got to meet, yet I have listened to a good amount of his speeches, seminars, read some of his books and continue to top up on his knowledge as often as possible.

Jim Rohn taught me that we must continue to educate ourselves with new skills and knowledge by reading and listening to the necessary materials to help us get ahead with life.

My why for my consistent daily personal development is what has powered me to where I am today. I have learned more in the past six and a half years, that is essential to achieving success than I ever did from attending school from the age of four until eighteen. School does not teach us how to accomplish our goals. We must teach ourselves.

Whenever I am stuck and want to quit on achieving my goals, I am able to bring out my “Why Power” to get me back on track to success. I know what the consequences would be if I did not accomplish my goals. The consequences are more compelling and powerful than any “How to get to my goal?”

What is your why?

Christmas Day after dinner, I am sitting on our living room couch, reflecting on my achievements. What have I achieved this year? What have I learned and gained this year? What am I grateful for this year?

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This time last year, I was working as a housekeeper with a micro managing manager who was extremely abusive, controlling and manipulating. She was far too toxic to be around. Thankfully I left that job at the end of January this year. What a huge sigh of relief to no longer go into work each morning and to listen to your manager tell you that no matter how hard you work, no matter how responsible you are, no matter how much effort you put into your work, it is never ever good enough. I felt super hyper, excited and energised when I walked into work on a Monday morning and told this toxic manager that I was “firing her”!  Woo hoo!

My next job was at a call centre, which was my first experience at a call centre and it was cold calling. I was eager to challenge myself to work in an office environment and learned that it was not my cup of coffee. I didn’t last there and thank goodness for that. It was a gargantuan blessing in disguise! Apparently this company was doing illegal things to their employees and I was saved when I was dismissed after five weeks! Hehe

My next job, which is my current one, began at the end of May. It was my first job as a server in over 15 years. It may not be my ideal job yet I get so much banter and fun with my colleagues. I get hugs from them and we are a great team. Having worked in an office environment and it didn’t suit me, this job is much more suitable for me because I get to talk to our customers, face to face. I get to be walking about instead of sitting down at a computer and that suits my “active, super hyper inner child”.

Career wise, I am still pursuing my public speaking goal by attending regular Toastmasters meetings. I completed my Competent Communication Manual in September and received my Advanced Manuals to further develop my public speaking skills. I came second in our club’s Table Topics Speech Contest also in September. I am in the process of applying to become a speaker at our local Tedx Talk in June next year. I want to step out of my comfort zone with my public speaking and expand. I am too comfortable at my local Toastmasters club and need new challenges! Hehe

On my personal life, I found my local Coda group in May to help me get onto the road to recovery and healing from my codependency. From attending regular meetings, I have gained a colossal amount of insights, knowledge and wisdom as to why I was set up to have unhealthy, dysfunctional and toxic relationships. I am now able to recognise when I am being controlled, manipulated or abused by others. I am able to put up clear boundaries to protect myself from potential harm and pain. It has been excruciatingly painful to go through my past pains at Coda, where I was neglected, abandoned, abused and left in turmoil. The intense pains was absolutely necessary for me to go through to gain recovery and healing. There have been days this year where I thought of suicide due to the excruciating pain that I have been through from my dysfunctional family set up. I am grateful for my emotional intelligence otherwise I would probably be in hospital from self harm. The phrase “This too shall pass” has served me well. Thank you.

My most memorable moment this year was marrying my Aussie sweetheart in July, in Hong Kong. We had a wedding photo shoot which was paid for by his siblings. It was my dream and it came true because I asked. Planning, preparing and organising for our wedding required a tonne of help from hubby, hubby’s siblings, my cousins in Hong Kong and getting time off work. My mum, younger brother and his wife flew to Hong Kong for our wedding which was a blessing. Our wedding photo shoot was nowhere as glamorous as it is misled to be. I could not sit down in my choice of wedding dress at the studio. The wedding dress was ever so tight all over, I felt pain and discomfort throughout the photo shoot. Thank goodness the photographer was efficient and took less time with my wedding dress photos. I loved my choice of evening gown for our wedding photo shoot. It was extravagant, extremely comfortable and sexy!

Our big day turned out to be free of unexpected challenges. Sitting for two hours to have my make up and hair put up was my biggest challenge because this was my first and possibly my last! Haha   The weather stayed dry for us until after our ceremony at the registrar office. I had no idea what to expect when we got to my new mother-in-law’s home. Our traditional Chinese rituals was time consuming and tiring. It was extremely demanding and noisy with so many bodies. I didn’t know who was who. The best thing about the rituals was receiving money in red envelopes! Hehe

Our “banquet” in the evening was a rather casual affair. The atmosphere was fun and the children present created childlike memories for us to keep. I even got to deliver an impromptu speech with much confidence when hubby passed me the mic after he delivered his speech with many ahs and ers because he’s not a Toastmaster! Haha

Our honeymoon was a simple trip to Cheung Chaw, an island by 30 minutes ferry from Hong Kong. It rained all day on our second day and spoiled our adventure. However, I thoroughly enjoyed our alone time to bond and create more fond memories. I fell in love with the view of the beach from our balcony.  The heli pad outside was amazing!

Nurturing our LDR after our wedding has been challenging yet it has been delightful to know that we have a solid relationship foundation to fall back on. Our emotional intelligence between us has been a humongous bonus. We are still learning about each other and that can be both frustrating and fun. Our goal was to close this physical gap by the end of next year however, a major set back is holding us back. I was once told “set backs are setting us up for better things”, I am wondering what better things is coming our way from this major set back?

This year has given me more challenges to handle and deal with than last year. I have been emotionally drained from expanding and growing. Stepping out of my comfort zone on a consistent level has been ever so tiring, exhausting and I have gained more experiences and knowledge. I am most grateful for my local Coda group where I have learned a gargantuan load of things regarding my dysfunctional family set up.

I made an exceptionally tough decision to no longer attend family gatherings where my dad and younger brother would be present because their behaviours suck the happiness out of me as they have become far too toxic to be around for my health and well being. It broke my heart because I have always wanted to spend time with my family. I must do whatever I can to protect my happiness, health and well being.

There have been most of this year where I felt quite the loner due to me being very selective as to who I surround myself with. I went to the cinema for the first time on my own last month and thoroughly enjoyed the experience and craving to go on my own again! Hehe

I travelled to Sheffield last month on my own for my first Toastmasters Conference and that was a scary experience because I was going into the unknown on my own. The conference was a fantastic way for me to mingle with other Toastmasters from other areas in District 71. I got the opportunity to be interviewed by a radio presenter. Moira took me up to her room and conducted the interview in about 15 minutes. I felt like a celebrity! Hehe

I have come to realise that I no longer want to be surrounded with narcissistic people like Tony, whom I had spent some of my spare time with this year. I no longer enjoy the conversations with narcissistic people anymore. I enjoy intellectual conversations or any conversations to do with what I am interested or passionate about. The small talk, gossip, moaning, ranting and raving puts me to sleep. I love to connect with people and to relate to them. I love and enjoy friendships where we have many things in common. I rarely get what I crave in friendships and I would rather be a loner and lonely than be surrounded by people whom I do not enjoy their company with. I have learned to enjoy my own company since big brother passed away suddenly four years ago.

The last few days of 2017 shall be a more relaxed time for me to rest, recharge and plan ahead for 2018. My emotions have been consistently taken on a roller coaster ride this year due to my gargantuan, humongous and colossal personal growth. I am ever so proud of my accomplishments this year. I am ever so grateful to my Aussie hubby for being there as always to support me. He has been my rock! Thank you.

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I am excited for the New Year. More challenges. More personal growth and more life experiences to be gained. More goals to achieve which is my “hobby”. I have many prepared speeches to plan, prepare and practice for Toastmasters. I plan to participate in our club’s Speech Contest due to take place in March to step out of my comfort zone and grow. I am looking forward to whatever 2018 has in store for me because I have what it takes to handle them! Hehe