Archives for the month of: October, 2017

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It’s has almost been six months since I found my local CODA group here in Glasgow.  What a journey I have had!  The ups and downs. The lows and highs. The volcano of emotions erupting whenever I have had the courage to share at our weekly meetings. The memories flooding my body as I recall all of the physical, emotional and intellectual abuse I experienced as a child and teenager has been intense. The mud in the bucket of water being stirred  and getting messy as I share about my painful past. The thoughts of “Goodness knows what I can gain from these shares!”  One thing I am certain that I have gain from sharing…….which has been my experiencing growing pains in gargantuan intensity in the past two months.

Thank goodness for my six years of personal development. My consistent daily investment in working hard on myself has proved to be priceless and more valuable than my formal education. Formal education never taught me emotional intelligence nor did my parents. I am so grateful for my developing emotional intelligence as it has been my best friend recently. I can still have my fun and laughter even though some days seem so stormy, thunderous, freezing and extremely unsettling. My sleep has been disturbed most nights since I began attending my CODA meetings which is to be expected.

I have had more anxiety to deal with in the past few months than I ever could recall, possibly due to the fact that I am much more connected with my emotions from my personal development. Thank goodness for my daily practice in yoga, meditation and my exercises to help me ride with the waves of emotions coming through everyday. Some days I feel like I am riding a colossal roller coaster where I am taken to the top in slow motion, then I come crashing down to the bottom in a matter of a split second. I am feeling very anxious as I am typing this. Breath in, breath out. Taking deep breathes and pauses whenever I feel the tide of anxiety come through. Yes, I acknowledge you, anxiety. What is it that you want from me? Oh you are scared of so many uncertainties in life? Ok, that’s quite alright. Let me keep you safe and reassure you that I am here for you and to protect you. Ahhhhh………that feels so much better now!  Thank you.

The frustration of having my sleep disturbed every morning around 3am to 5am as I wake up to pee has died slowly like a snail crawling. I have learned to accept that this is how life is for me due to my personal growth. This too, shall pass. Everything takes time. Time has been something that I am very aware of. I have been talented at spending my time with much wisdom. I feel like I am in debt with time due to my dysfunctional family set up of taking on the caretaker role in my family. I was robbed of living my life for myself, whilst I was care taking everyone else. I lost my true authentic self. I lost the freedom to live for myself. I lost so much and now it is time to get it all back for me. I have no time to waste on unimportant things and people. It is time to shine and be the best version of myself that I could ever possibly be.

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Yes, life is difficult. There is no doubt about it. We are all carrying the pains from our past with us each and everyday. We can learn to become stronger from our pains or we can become weaker. What we choose is what we become. We are all capable of creating a far greater, better and brighter future for ourselves regardless of what intense pains we are carrying around each day. What doesn’t break us, makes us stronger. It is all about how we respond to our pains. It is all about our mindset. It is all about our attitude towards life and grabbing what life has to offer with both hands and feet! Haha   Life is such a valuable creation. We must cherish what we have in our lives, no matter how it drags us down and drain us.

I ask for my sound and deep sleep each night, to feel energised, revitalised and super charged to see me through my daily challenges without the challenge of disturbed sleep each night. Thank you. I ask for the courage to continue with my daily, consistent personal development to help me through life and whatever it throws my way. Thank you. I ask for the abundance of energy and happiness when I wake up each morning to start my day. Thank you.

Practising gratitude has taught me to be grateful for the smallest thing that we have in our lives. From the water that runs through our taps, to our beds and the roof over our heads. People can moan and groan about how they are struggling in their daily lives, without stopping to see the value of the priceless things they have that homeless people would die to have to feel safe and secure. Walking on the streets of Glasgow City Centre, heading into work, I feel blessed to have a roof over my head to feel safe and secure. To sleep knowing that I am protected and warm. My struggles are absolutely nothing compared to what homeless people are dealing with each day. As our winter is setting in and the cold, dark, longer nights are becoming the norm, coming home to central heating, running water, food and a bed would have any homeless person smile from ear to ear!

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Source: How powerful is your positive mental attitude?

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How many of you take the time to ask yourself why am I faced with so many daily challenges, problems, set backs, dilemmas and hurdles and it never ever seems to end?

I was once drained mentally and physically of all my daily challenges, problems, set backs, dilemmas and hurdles that never ever seemed to end. That was prior to my stupendous journey with my self development over six years ago.

I turned my life around from having a victim mentality to having an open mind to how I could possibly improve my boring, stuck in a deep rut life where I was merely existing for the benefits of my three sons as I was a single mother with no goals to work towards.

I had been deeply influenced by the negative, toxic and dysfunctional people around me until I gradually let them go one by one in order to grow, expand and make consistent progress. We are the product of the first five people we surround ourselves with each day. We are the influence of the first five people we spend the most time with.

The average people that I was surrounded with were going nowhere noticeably successful. They were stuck in a deep rut, living a mediocre life just muddling through each day without any sense of direction as to where they were heading because they had no well defined goals to work towards. Their quality of life was as low as the average Tom, Dick and Harry. That was me!………Until I began my journey to become the best version of myself each day.

I was first asked “What do you really want from life Kit?” when I attended a personal development course back in June 2012 in Edinburgh. That weekend changed my life forever because of a few reasons:

  1. I got to focus on me, on my life and on what I really wanted to accomplish in my life before I die.
  2. I got to create a vision board for what I really wanted to achieve for me and NOT for others.
  3. I finally began to live my life for me and NOT others.
  4. I got the opportunity to meet some light minded people who were supportive and encouraging, which was what I longed for yet until then, I had never been given.
  5. I was beginning to enjoy life and focus on the good, the positive, the fun, the dreams and all that I could possibly achieve.

My crazy mother has always been my biggest inspiration since I was a child because she always seems to have this “I shall do it even if it kills me” attitude within her. As a child, my crazy mother was like Wonder Woman, Superwoman or any Super Hero that you have come across. That is how I saw my crazy mother as a child growing up. She could always fix things, solve problems, see the good in every bad situation, trust that she shall achieve what she sets for herself even if it kills her. I never knew what it was my crazy mother had within her as a child, I just knew she was a woman with some special talent. Today, that special talent within my crazy mother is known as “Positive mental attitude” to me.

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When I was at the tender age of eight, I flew for the first time with my crazy mother and big brother. From Hong Kong to Glasgow, Scotland. My crazy mother does not speak fluent English, (she speaks Chinglish) yet she was courageous and brave enough to get us to Scotland with just one sentence, “I am going to Glasgow!”  This one sentence has earned my crazy mother the title of “The most talented, courageous and brave woman” award. I spoke about this inspirational story at my wedding dinner in Hong Kong, in July this year, because I believed that my talented, special and crazy mother deserved the recognition for her bravery. She didn’t think it was anything that was worth mentioning because she just knew she had to do it to get us all to Scotland.

I am so grateful to have had my crazy mother’s special talents passed onto me. My special mother’s “I shall get this shit done” attitude has helped me to get to where I am at today. I may have made more mistakes than others during my progress to become the best version of myself, yet mistakes are proof that I am trying. I am where I am at because I have a vision, a dream and goals. These three elements have been a tremendous tool for my personal growth. I am getting tasks completed no matter how difficult or challenging they may seem.

I am able to see beyond my challenges, problems, set backs, dilemmas and hurdles because I am now much more focused on the end result and no longer give my attention and energy to the difficulties that once clouded my progress. The once “Oh I can’t do this, it’s too difficult” has become “Let me see how I am able to get through this” attitude.

If we are surrounded with people who are constantly focused on their daily challenges, instead of searching and asking for ways to get through them and learn, we are more than likely to be deeply influenced by their habits. Poor self realisation and self discipline kills our positivity and optimism. We must reflect on our daily actions in order to get more out of our lives. We are solely responsible for what we give out to the universe. Give out positive thoughts and get positive thoughts back, multiplied. My crazy mother knows this and she had a very poor education.

I am very selective about who I spend my time with. I enjoy a chit chat with anyone and everyone. Yet my time is very valuable and I must be aware of who I give my time to. I prefer to plan my day before it begins. I prefer to have a structure to my day. I get my tasks completed when I have planned it out. I maintain my high level of positive mental attitude by staying away from anything and anyone who sucks the happiness out of me. The “victims” are the worst happiness suckers that I avoid at all costs.

Some people cannot and do not know how to handle happiness. These are the people who do not know how to get the best from their lives. They live for drama and sadness. As an ENFJ, I need happiness in order to thrive and be my best. I need happiness in order to be optimally energetic. I have learned what works for my goals and what doesn’t. Achieving my goals has become a colossal part of my life because I know where I am heading in three, five and ten years time.

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I am attracted to people who are optimistic and they are more successful than those who are pessimistic. I want success. I want to achieve my goals. I shall no longer allow myself to be surrounded by those who are living in the “victim” mentality. I love to have fun with myself and others. Fun is a vital ingredient to having a higher quality of life. If I meet someone who is a “Sour face”, I run a mile away from them! Why be around a “Sour face” when I can have all the fun in the world?

There are so many advantages to having a positive mental attitude. I shall mention a few that I have up my sleeves……..

  1. Life becomes easier for us and others around us when we are able to see beyond the bad and the ugly.
  2. We maintain a higher level of positive energy.
  3. We live a higher quality of life.
  4. We are less likely to become sick with minor ailments such as colds, coughs, headaches, aches and pains in our body, insomnia etc etc etc
  5. We can laugh at a difficult situation and still find a solution to our daily struggles.
  6. We attract success to us as we are giving out more positive thoughts.
  7. we are more connected with our emotions and less likely to have a nervous breakdown.
  8. We are less likely to have anxiety and other mental illnesses that drains us.
  9. We see the sunshine even during the thunderstorms.
  10. We focus on what we have instead of what we don’t have.
  11. We are more grateful for all of the challenges that has come our way because we learn from each of them and become stronger.
  12. We develop grit with is one of the many vital ingredients to achieving our goals.
  13. We are more likely to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and get back on track to achieving our goals after experiencing a grieving loss in our lives.
  14. We are much more genuine, authentic and true to ourselves.
  15. We are more connected with our inner child as we know that it is imperative that we have fun each day to help us get through the set backs.
  16. We ask ourselves “What could I learn from this” whenever life throws us a curve ball instead of being in the “victim” mentality.
  17. We are less likely to be swayed by others’ opinions of ourselves because we are mentally strong.
  18. We build a stronger personal foundation for our personal growth.
  19. We become an attractive person by becoming successful.
  20. Last of all, we know the importance of living our lives for others and NOT anyone else.

 

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When was the last time you had an idea and stepped forward to creating a plan and made it work?  When was the last time you allowed your creativity to run wild and go for what your mind had conceived? When was the last time you achieve a goal because you believed in yourself?  People with a high level of positive mental attitude gets things done. They are doers. They never allow their fears to paralyse them into idleness. They embrace their fears. They are connected with their fears. They feel the fear and do it anyway. That is the power of a positive mental attitude at it’s highest level. How strong is your PMA – positive mental attitude?  YOU are more than capable of increasing the strength of your PMA.

If and when someone tells you that what you want to achieve cannot be done, just say to them “Watch me!”

I have achieved many of my goals because of the power and strength of my PMA. Once a strong and powerful PMA has been developed, nothing and nobody is capable of taking it away from us. Our PMA shall always be living within us.

What is the quality of life that you want to live with? How far do you want to go with life? Why are you living life with limiting beliefs?

I encourage you all to start a plan to strengthen your PMA to it’s highest level and be a success that you shall be proud of one day. Start a plan to surround yourself with people who are light minded, knows how to have fun, have goals and a strong and powerful PMA. You deserve to achieve all that your mind conceives. Let’s go and step forward to achieving our goals and live that higher quality of life!

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