imageHave you ever been a front passenger of a sports car strapped in ready for a ride that puts you totally out of your comfort zone? Have you ever felt you are really getting old as you are driven about by a much younger driver at speed?

Riding a roller coaster is exactly what it feels like for me every time I am the front passenger of my eldest son’s car.

As soon as he drives off my heart is already pounding, about to jump out of my body with fear and anxiety. His car is perfect in every way. It is what every young male driver wants, speed wise I think! The noise it makes when the accelerator is pushed to the floor says it all. I was told by one male friend that he loves that noise yet to me, it is nothing other than a disturbance to my sensitive ears.

Whilst I am grateful to have my personal chauffeur, I just feel so scared and anxious whenever I am my eldest son’s front passenger.

image.jpeg

As a driver myself, I usually have my ten year old son sitting in the back diagonally opposite me so he observes every move I make and he is the back seat driver since a very tender age. So I learned to be the driver every driver instructor would be proud of. I stop at amber lights and give way to other drivers whenever it is safe to do so. I adhere to the speed limit on built up areas and thus I rarely get my back seat driver’s commands of what I ought to be doing and what I must not do.

The accelerator is pushed to the floor as soon as we get onto the main road from our home and I am feeling the fear of an accident already. My hands are feeling sweaty and my heart is beating so fast, it’s just like we are climbing the steep incline of a roller coaster. The fear feels like I have no protection whatsoever and I am at the mercy of my young driver.

The distance between us and the vehicle directly in front of us looks merely like centimetres to me. My inner voice is telling me some really scary stuff as we are speeding along the main road. I long to get off this roller coaster ride which is no where near it’s destination.

I am looking at the speedometer now and it’s way too fast for my safety and comfort. We almost hit the vehicle in front of us as we break. My head is pushed against the headrest and I am thinking of controlling my thoughts. So I repeatedly say into myself “I am safe” and “I am protected” as we are accelerate rapidly along the forty mile road near my son Calvin’s school. I am more conscious of the consequences of an accident whilst being a passenger in this roller coaster ride as I am still recovering from ongoing whiplash symptoms.

My driver just seems to have no patience and his emotions controls his driving which is all the more frightening for me as his front seat passenger. I can relate to driving fast on the motorway, yet on built up areas and or residential areas, it is common sense to take our foot off the accelerator and drive with cautious.

So we are off again after picking up our young passenger and we hit the main road again. We are behind a bus now and my driver is more cautious and takes his time which was a huge surprise for me. Phewwwww!   Sweat dripping off me already yet it is freezing outside so no one could ever see me sweating!  I thought he would have overtaken the double decker bus, yet it was obviously unsafe to do so and he stayed behind the bus.

We arrive at the supermarket with my heart slowing it’s beating fast from being thrown into the roller coaster ride. What a relief to be safe at the supermarket and we can get our food shop bought and get home to rest.

The journey home was surprisingly pleasant and slower which helped me to feel calmer and safer.

I longed for the day when my driver would drive slower, safer and calmer for all of our sake. Maybe that would be the day he settles for buying a slower car and I would feel safer and calmer. Yet until then I shall just embrace my roller coaster rides with my heart being thrown into the fast lane which is definitely unsuitable for this 43 year old mother of three sons. Vrooom! Vroom! Vroom!