Archives for the month of: March, 2017

I signed up for this job, without any formal training. Without any instructions from my employer. Without any support from my employer. Without any formal agreement to paid sick days, bonuses, pay rises, maternity leave, paid holidays and bereavement leave. Without any foreseeable benefits, why did I still sign up for this job? Why?  I must be crazy right? I must be nuts? I must be bonkers right?

It is a job that many people take on just like me and get very little to no recognition whatsoever. We muddle through each day at work, the best we can. We try to be as efficient at our job as we possibly can. We even give more than everything that we have to make sure our employer is satisfied. Yet, our employer never gives us the recognition we truly deserve and we still, willingly get out of bed each morning, tired, deflated at times and ready to tackle to day’s tasks so that we are seen as competent. We drag ourselves to work because we do not want to admit that we are defeated! We want to be seen as strong as Wonder woman! We want to be seen as “Oh she has her shit together” when she is crumbling inside, dying for a moment to herself to gather her toughts together and connect with her emotions. How she longs to have her life back to before she took on this job? How she longs to be able to come and go as she pleases and do whatever she wants, whenever she wants, without having to be trapped by her job? Yet, there is something that keeps her in that demanding, difficult and undervalued job!  There is a strong something that pulls her to her job because she has become so attached to it. She does not want to resign because that has never been an option for her from day one. She fully committed to this job and she shall see it to the end, whenever the end shall be, she has no idea. The end would be far too sad for her to even think about. She merely wants to focus on getting through the present moment and get to bed unscathed, with her sanity intact.

There’s the saying that “some people are married to their job” and this job is what we are married to because it is the only twenty four seven job that anyone could ever take on with no benefits to them whatsoever. Looking at things from a different perspective, there are many benefits to this demanding job, yet it requires the employee to look at it through a very different perspective, with an open mind and a positive mental attitude.

This demanding job requires so many life skills to get through the days and nights of never ending challenges and hurdles to jump through. School never taught us these life skills. Our parents never taught us these life skills. We are now left to teach ourselves. It is no wonder why our employer is left bewildered at what they got themselves in for when they “hired” us, yet they do not have any power to fire us! What fun! Haha

Throughout this difficult job, I have learned so many valuable things from my three employers and they have each their very own lessons that I shall remember until the day I die. My three employers shall always need me to be there for them until the day I die. They are always going to need my services, big or small.

Have you guessed what job I am describing here? Do you have any ideas?

As Mother’s Day for us here in Scotland,  is tomorrow, I felt compelled to write an article about the wonderful, amazing and tireless things mothers do for their children and family. Mothers are rarely fully equipped with the required skills needed to be the best mother in the world. She merely muddles through each day, learning as she goes. She never gets any formal training before she signs up to become a mother! What a laugh you may say???  Why would anyone in their right mind sign up for a job without any formal training? Why would anyone commit to a job without any of the skills required from them?  That is just the way our society and culture is. Mothers are expected to know how to do her job with efficiency any day of the week. She is expected to have her shit together even during the most challenging and toughest times. She is not allowed to crumble under pressure because it is seen as a sign of weakness. She is Wonder woman after all!

Mother's strength

I have thoroughly enjoyed my journey as a mother for the past 22 years and so many weeks and days. Yes, I have had my share of tough, challenging and shitty times when I so wanted to die and quit! I have had my share of scares, fears and dark times. Throughout those trying times, I have been very fortunate to have had my dearest big brother’s endless help and support. He was my rock. My mother has also been my rock too! She helped me both physically and financially during the toughest times. She cared for my children and me when I needed her to be there for us the most. My mother may not have had a lot given to her when she was a child, yet she has been most giving to us and she never ever expected anything in return. She gave to us from the bottom of her heart. She gave to us because she cared and loved us. She is my one and most inspirational, motivational and positive role model I have ever had. I feel so blessed to have been given such a wonderful mother who has shown me that no matter how little we have in life, by giving to others, without expecting anything in return, we learn the art of giving which starts the receiving process. Thank you a million Mum! You are the strongest Wonder woman there is! Three cheers to my crazy mum! Hehe

I have given so much of my sweat, blood and tears to my three sons over the past 22 years and now I am reaping the benefits. I have been blessed three times to have three healthy, gorgeous and smart sons who are making me so proud of each of them for their own successes. I have been so fortunate to have had personal development introduced to me at a time when I was in total darkness with my depression, where I could see no light at the end of the long, winding tunnel. Throughout my journey with personal development, I learned to become the best mother I could ever be to my three sons. I set about to learn as many skills as I possibly could to get along with my sons better than I had at the beginning of my journey with my personal development. I felt so much happier, as happy as Larry when I began to make some progress and saw I shift in myself which was very scary at the beginning. Yet, I embraced the fears and uncertainties that improving myself brought forth. It was well worth my sweat, blood and tears of fully committing to becoming a better version of myself. Well done me! I deserve a gold medal! Hehe

Today, motherhood is so much fun and exciting. Today being a mother is as challenging as it was at the beginning because each day delivers new challenges. With my skills that I have acquired from my personal development, I am capable of solving each and every problem that comes my way. “No problem” is what I say to any challenges. Let me see what I can learn from my problems, challenges and trying times!

What do I have to lose from being a mother? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I have everything to gain. Being a mother offers so many opportunities to learn something, whether that something is big or small. I always learn from each new experience that comes my way. I no longer say “Why me?”, instead I say “Let me see how I can overcome these challenges and learn something from them!”

Three cheers to all mothers past and present. You all deserve the true recognition of the wonderful, demanding and tiresome job you do each and everyday. Happy Mother’s Day in advance to each and everyone of you!

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What does happiness mean to you? What images, sounds, smells, thoughts and feelings comes through when you see or hear the word “happiness”?

share-happinessHappiness means different things to each of us due to our model of the world. We have our own definition and meaning of the word “happiness”. Some of us rarely saw our parents have fun when we were growing up, therefore, happiness was rare for our inner child and this sets us up for a very short burst of happiness. Some of us may never have had happiness passed onto us from their parents and main caregivers, which means that we have no idea what happiness is and what it feels like. We merely live each day muddling through our daily challenges. Our inner child knows nothing about how it feels to have happiness flowing from within.

Everything that we saw, heard, felt and remembered from our childhood sets us up for what happiness means to us in our adult life. Happiness starts from our childhood.

I was very fortunate to have been brought up by my crazy, light minded mother, who was childlike, funny, positive and who knew how to have fun, how to have a laugh, how to make the most out of her circumstances even though life was a huge struggle for her, each and every day of her life. My mother was abandoned at birth and never got to see or know about her birth parents. She was abused and neglected from birth. Yet, she never allowed her circumstances to stand in her way of having fun. I remember my mother as the person who would smile and spread her happiness to others, especially to her children. I am so blessed to have been given this blessing and it has been a huge bonus for me in my life.

Happiness to me nowadays, is about feeling the blessings and counting each and every one of them. Happiness is no longer about having the status, the materialistic things, the power, the authority, the flashy car or the big house to outdo others. Happiness these days to me, is about spreading my happiness to others who are less fortunate than myself. It is about smiling at a stranger. It is about listening to someone with the intent to understand them. It is about making others feel important. It is about giving a helping hand to those in need. It is about giving to others, without expecting anything in return. It is about making consistent progress for personal growth that money could never buy. It is about becoming the best version of who I want to be in order to expand and grow. It is about grabbing opportunities for learning and stepping out of my comfort zone. It is about taking a calculated risk and experiencing things that I have yet to experience. Happiness is about setting myself free from my parents expectations of who and what they want me to be. Who and what I am inside is what matters to me. Who and what I am inside is no longer anyone’s business. Who and what I am inside is more attractive than what others want me to be. I no longer live to please others or conform to their expectations. I no longer live to be bothered about what others say or think of who and what I am. I am so focused on having fun each day, what others say or think of me is none of my business. I no longer seek the approval of others. I no longer compare myself to others. I no longer focus on what others do and where they are at.

I no longer allow toxic shame to hold me back from being the authentic me. I no longer allow toxic shame to get in the way of having fun. I no longer allow toxic shame to trap me inside of a confined space and where shame says I should and should not be. Toxic shame no longer has any space in my life. I am free to feel what I feel, free to do what I want to do, free to have fun wherever and whenever I want. Free to laugh out loud and be proud of who and what I am. I am free to live my life for myself and no one else. I am free to make choices for me and it is so light and liberated. I am free to choose who I surround myself with. I am free to travel wherever I want, whenever I want. I am free to pursue what matters to me. The freedom I have nowadays is what gives me the happiness that I have.

happiness

As it is International Happiness Day today, I wanted to spread my happiness near and far. I spent quality time with my eldest and youngest son, going out for a light meal. As we were stuck in traffic, on the motorway, I waved to a stranger, driving in his brand new car. I smiled at me, with my beautiful, sexy and attractive smile. He must have thought “Who is that crazy woman waving at me?”  I smiled at him again, as I waved at him, he then waved back at me. As we were moving sluggishly, it became a very happy moment for both of us as I knew I had succeeded in spreading my happiness onto him for just that boring moment, when we were both stuck in traffic!  That smile on the stranger’s face told me that I had helped him to feel happy for a mere second of his rather boring journey in the traffic. I am very curious as to how many people will he share my crazy waving at him???

Happy International Happiness Day to you all, near and far!