Who are you?

Who am I?

I have asked many people these questions and the reply is always the exact same!

“I am Mary, aged 50, married to John and we with two grown up children and we live in England. I work as a receptionist for my family business and I have my three grandchildren at the weekends”.

I am Kit, aged 43, a single mother to three sons and I live in Scotland. I am in a long distance relationship and working consistently on achieving my goals. Does this define who I am?

In my culture, our name is a vital part of our identity and my name means that I am “clean, tidy and have qualities of a lady” which my dad expects me to live up to (because he gave me my name) yet I strongly refuse to because my name has never defined who I am and never will. Whenever I say or do anything that is not expected from “a lady” in the presence of my dad, he shall remind me of what my name means and why he gave me it. My inner teenager has her eyes rolling and she says to herself “oh here we go again dad!” I am rebellious when it comes to others telling me what to do and who to be. I am my own person with my own way of thinking. My actions are based on the product of my own conclusions and no one shall influence me otherwise. I have never been a follower as I am comfortable being who I want to be. I feel comfortable standing out from the crowd. From being different as a child, I have never needed anything materialistic to fit in with the crowd and I am proud of who I am.

There was a lot of shame in my dysfunctional family set up that created so much toxic shame in my entire life. I have been working hard on letting go of the toxic shame that was passed onto me from my parents from investing time and effort in my personal development and now with the help of my therapist. The most effective way to let go of the toxic shame is to pass it back to the people who gave me it to set myself free.

I gave myself the name Loud and Proud some time ago in order to live my life the way I want to and not what my dad expects me to.  Loud and Proud allows me to be bold so that I could be my true authentic self which is most attractive and inspiring.

People are more attracted to those who know who they are, what they want and are self assured. It is inspiring to be surrounded by authentic people who disregard what others say or think about them. We live a higher quality of life when we set ourselves free to be our true authentic self and happiness comes through from within.

I am loving my true authentic self each day as I inspire others to do the same and let go of the toxic shame.