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As the year 2016 is drawing to it’s end, I am taking time to reflect on my journey so far. What an amazing year of gargantuan growth it truly has been for me! I had created time to set big goals to achieve this year at the end of 2015. It was absolutely vital for me, to set big goals before the end of the year and this sets me up for success. Having eliminated all sorts of distractions in all shape and form last year, no more toxic relationships and drama from them, this year has been the most fruitful for me since I began my journey with personal development over five years ago.

I have had many sleepless nights, this year, tossing and turning from anxiety and a sense of fear of going into the unknown. There were nightmares some nights and other nights, there were weird and funny dreams. I have felt all sorts of fear big and small to get my hands on my goals. The most important ingredient has been no distractions unlike previous years. With my blinkers on, working on my goals has been so much easier this year. Many days, I have felt lonely and thank you to my days of solitude after my dearest big brother’s passing, I have learned to feel comfortable with enjoying my solitude. Being on my own, silent, still and quiet during my recovery and healing process from big brother’s very sudden passing has served me well. It was a blessing in disguise in more ways than one or two. I am ever grateful for my most challenging life experience.

Attending my weekly Toastmasters meetings, throwing myself into the different roles to take on, in order to gain my Competent Leadership Badge has been most rewarding and I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of being on stage. Taking on the Toastmasters role was the most yet I felt the fear and did it anyway, gaining experience from it and allowing me to grow. I have delivered four prepared speeches, three of them were short notice because another member dropped out of their allocated slot, which meant that I had very little time to practice my prepared speech, yet I grabbed those opportunities to get myself out of my comfort zone. My prepared speeches did not need to be perfect. I no longer strive for perfection because it is very futile. All that was important to me was to enjoy my experience delivering my speech and gain more confidence.

I have been very fortunate to have found myself again, after losing a huge part of me after big brother’s very sudden passing. It took me a long time, yet I finally found myself again and I thoroughly enjoyed the whole journey of recovery and healing. It was a major struggle, yet those struggles were put in my life to help me to grow and learn. What doesn’t kill you certainly makes you stronger as Kelly Clarkson sang in her song Stronger!

Settling into my first job since big brother’s sudden passing has been the most challenging thing I have had to handle this year. Being out of work for almost three years, it took me quite a while to settle. Yet I embraced the challenges, found solutions, felt the fear and feared forward. I felt anxiety, trepidation and apprehension as I walked into my job each day during the beginning.  It was such a huge struggle both mentally and emotionally. The physical demands was also a huge stress factor. I would come home feeling like I had been run down by a bus!

Five months since I started my job, I have more than settled and made new friends with my team and they are becoming as crazy as me. I have influenced them in a great way! Hehe

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Visiting Hong Kong for the second time this October, was one of my biggest milestones this year. I embraced many fears and stepped out of my comfort zone. I finally learned to navigate the Hong Kong MTR, their Mass Transit Railway. I got the MTR by myself from Mongkok to our Airbnb in Sai Ying Pun after meeting an online friend for the first time. I got lost and it was such an adventure as I knew I was lost. I looked at the map at the station that I got off the MTR at, to find my way back to my destination. I stepped out of my comfort zone many times in Hong Kong this year. It was such a huge opportunity for me to grow and gain more confidence. I may not be an expert yet at travelling on the MTR, yet I can navigate my way around with ease and comfort. Thinking back on my last year’s visit, my first, how overwhelmed I had felt at being boxed in and squeezed in with my fellow passengers, I have made such amazing progress to be truly proud of. I get very claustrophobic in confined spaces and now I feel comfortable with having my fellow passengers in my face, literally! Haha   Buying breakfast each morning from our local cafe was another milestone for me. Thank goodness I could read their Chinese menu. That was less stressful for me. It was placing my order each day, from a different cafe that left me feeling very uncomfortable. Yet, I did it anyway to gain confidence and grow. It was nowhere near as scary as I had made up in my mind. Sweetheart was spending time with his immediate family in mainland China during our first weekend in Hong Kong which left me with Calvin all alone, fending for ourselves. It was a great opportunity for me to learn how to travel farther on the MTR, with the help from my personal Sat Nav. We thoroughly enjoyed riding the train, by First Class to Tai Po to meet with my mum and her sister Wendy. I felt no fear during that weekend as I was feeling very relaxed and calm. Calvin thoroughly enjoyed having his mum all to himself. I loved our quality bonding time together and the time spent with my mum and aunt Wendy. It felt like a once in a lifetime opportunity for me as it was my first time being in Hong Kong with my mum. Hehe

As this is my last post from 2016, I want to shout “Well done me for making such gargantuan progress this year and getting my hands on so many successes, big and small!” A huge thank you to my sweetheart for his continuous support and guidance.

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