Why is the subject of death such a taboo subject all over the world when it is something that happens to all of us? I have been very curious about death since I learned about it at a tender age. Yet, upon asking about the subject, I am told to shut up and forget about finding out anything of it. As time passed, I realised that this created my fears of death. I was very scared of dying in moments when I was triggered by thoughts or emotions that came flooding through me about uncertainties.


I remember talking to my dad about coffins and death at his house one day and I was told to shut up with his anger and that was enough to tell me that he was not comfortable talking about it. I also remember bringing up death with my ex husband’s mother, where she was also very angry with the subject. Why? Why are we not allowed to talk about death in a calm manner?

I am reading “Embracing Uncertainty” by Susan Jeffers and she suggests that we “Embrace the hearse” and talk about death. She suggests that we plan for our funeral and talk to our friends and family about our plans.

I want to take this opportunity to plan for my funeral and call it “Celebrating my fulfilled life”. I may have missed out on many opportunities before I reached 39 years young. Yet I am free to go for what I truly believe I am capable of achieving. I am living my life for me now, not for others. I am free to be who and what I was born to be. Nothing is stopping me now. I am soaring!

In my party for “Celebrating my fulfilled life” I shall have upbeat music of my choice, food of my choice that is from all over the world to cater for all of my dearest friends and family. I have friends and family from all over the world so this is vital to bring them together to celebrate my fulfilled life. Food always brings people together, along with music and a party!

I want all of my attendees to wear bright colours. They are allowed to dress up or down, whatever they feel comfortable with as long as there is some bright colour in their attire. Next, I want party poppers, balloons, party hats, streamers, a clown, a bouncy castle, a magician and anything that is party related. Everyone shall be encouraged to bring their inner child out and play. There shall be so much laughter, cracking jokes, smiles all around and children are allowed to create a bit of mess and be noisy.  I want to have the loudest send off to give something to my friends and family to remember me by. I want to go with a humongous bang! I am loud and proud so that is rather appropriate of me!

My party is the most unconventional one anyone shall ever attend because I am one of a kind, unique and so special that you shall never meet any other quite like me. It shall be one where my attendees are partying into the night and if they wish into the early hours of the morning. There shall be accommodation arranged for those who live afar.

I want attendees to dance to the music and be happy that I was a part of their lives. I want a karaoke machine for those who love to sing so that they can sing until their heart’s content. I want everyone to talk about me in a positive light and share with each other what they learned from me. I want some of my friends and family to share their inspiring experiences of me with the crowd and this allows them to remember me for who and what I am. I want them to share with each other how crazy, silly and childlike I am. I want them to keep this alive because life is meant to be fun!

I want a member of my friends or family to read out a letter that I wrote to share with everyone at the end of my party and this shall be my way of saying “thank you for being a part of my life”.

I want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered in Hong Kong, my birth place. I shall be able to join my big brother doing what we love to do as children.

Now that I have written out my plan for my funeral, death to me, no longer feels scary and frightening! Thank you Susan Jefffers.