Walking my youngest son Calvin to catch his bus to school on Tuesday morning, we were shocked to see flowers placed on a fence up ahead of us. That only means one thing and one thing only. Someone had died there. Finding out that it was a five year old boy from talking to passers by and my heart ached for his parents and family. The young boy named Lennon had only just started primary school a few weeks ago and had his full life ahead of him. Yet his life came to a very sudden and tragic end when he was knocked down by a large van and died from his injuries. I was so emotional and felt immense emotional pain and cried for what his family is going through at this tremendously painful time.

I told my boyfriend this and he felt very sad too. He acknowledged my feelings and told me to allow all of them to come through as they are merely visiting. I had a good cry and felt lighter. However, my sleep has been disturbed since. I have had thoughts of how sad, painful and difficult it is for Lennon’s parents to be living without their handsome little boy. No more school runs my head kept thinking. No more fun with Lennon and no more hearing his laughter. His parents will never get the chance to see their little boy grow up and reach his milestones like I did with my three sons. How cruel? How cruel to have Lennon taken away from them in such tragic circumstances. Lennon died doing what he loved doing. Picking up stones and learning about them. He was knocked down whilst he was bending down to pick up stones and the driver of the van knocked him down. He had let go of his dad’s hand to do what he loved doing. His dad is feeling very guilty for letting his handsome boy let go of his hand. He is haunted by the image of his little boy being hit by the driver and he is having to live with that for the rest of his life. I think that is ever so cruel for a father to experience. I think this is going to leave a huge hole in Lennon’s parents lives and could possibly destroy their relationship with each other from a psychological point of view. Men have been told not to show their emotions nor do they talk about them as in society it is deemed a weakness. This creates so much disease and sicknesses which is all avoidable. Burying emotions and stuffing them down merely creates space for them to come up in more uglier ways later on.

I can relate to the pain that Lennon’s parents are going through from the sudden death of my dearest big brother in November 2013. Losing my one and only lifetime companion to such a sudden death had shocked me and left my life so empty, I found it so dark and bleak. My big brother died at the age of 42. Too young to die yet nowhere near Lennon’s age. My world had collapsed and I lost a huge part of myself that took me over 2 years to find again.

I found out from reading the news that Lennon’s family had set up a fund to raise money for Lennon’s funeral and other costs so I donated some money to it since I have got my independence back from getting a job after the sudden death of my big brother. Helping others in need gives me a huge sense of happiness. I felt happiness oozing from within. A simple act of kindness from the heart is ever so powerful.

As I was walking Calvin to the bus stop yesterday, I felt that heart aching pain come through again It was getting more intense and deep as we walked past where Lennon was knocked down. It triggered the pain of losing my big brother and I knew I could do something simple to lift myself up. I decided that I would grab a coffee before I started work and enjoy it. I saw a homeless man kneeling on the street just outside of the coffee shop. I decided to buy him a coffee too and that’s what I did. I also gave him some money to brighten up his day. I immediately felt a huge sensation rush through my body. The sensation of joy and happiness. I felt grateful that I could give someone something as simple as a cup of coffee and some money to cheer them up. I felt energetic for the rest of the day and that was well worth my effort.

I walked past the scene of Lennon’s tragic death today and I still felt pain and heartache yet this time, I felt a sort of lightness that came through. A lightness that allowed me to feel the pain of Lennon’s passing yet I felt I had acknowledged all of my raw emotions and moved into the transformation of inner peace. I felt more at ease walking past the scene today. Calvin asked me to buy some flowers and place them with the other flowers for Lennon and that’s what we did this afternoon, after he finished school. We stayed for a while afterwards to read all the messages the local residents had left behind for Lennon and his family. I was amazed at all the flowers, cards, messages and candles that are now surrounded the fence. Photos of Lennon have also been place there and a number of balloons are hanging from the fence. A man who drove by asked me when this tragic incident happened and he was showing his own sadness for such a young boy’s tragic death. On the pavement a message was written in white “We will not forget you wee man” or something to that effect!

I saw a bucket at our local shop to collect money for Lennon’s family. The spirit of our local community at a time when Lennon’s family needs it the most is so amazing. We truly are the most helpful and kind people around. I am so proud to be a part of Glasgow and it brightens up my day. Sadly, a close member of Lennon’s family had past away last month and now they are hit with the tragic news of Lennon’s passing. What a dark moment it is for Lennon’s family? They need all the support they can get and they deserve it all.