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A very happy second anniversary to our two year long distance relationship! We truly deserve a gold medal for getting through all this ups and downs, all the challenges and all the barriers!

What does it take  to make a long distance relationship work? Some people don’t believe that a long distance relationship shall last. My opinion on that is, they merely lack what it takes to make it work. They lack the skills to get what they want. Maybe they are, like the majority of people have no idea as to what it is that they want from their ideal partner.

After reading Jack Canfield’s book The Key to Living The Law of Attraction back in 2012 and then Allan and Barbara Pease’s book Why Men want Sex and Women Need Love,  I wrote down for the first time in my life, what I wanted from life. I wrote my bucket list in 2012. I wrote down on a scrap piece of paper what I wanted from my ideal partner.  Without too much thought on this subject, I missed out on a very important detail. Where did I want my ideal partner to live when I attracted him into my life?

Maybe that was a blessing in disguise. Or maybe the universe was delivering to me, what I  had asked for about “Seeing Sydney’s famous landmarks” as I attracted my ideal partner in February 2014 and he lived in Sydney. Was it a coincidence that I attracted an Aussie living in Sydney?

It was to be my huge bonus. Why?

I got the opportunity of a lifetime to “See Sydney’s famous landmarks” in June last year and to spend quality bonding time with my sweetheart for more than three weeks which strengthened our relationship. We then flew to Hong Kong to meet his family and my extended family.

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Our first year together was filled with so much fun, banter, craziness and that created a solid foundation for our long distance relationship – LDR. It is vital to have fun each day in order to bring out the best in each other. Seriousness brings serious circumstances. Without having fun, a relationship dies a slow and painful death.

After my sweetheart flew back home from his first visit to Glasgow, Scotland to meet me face to face for the first time and to spend two weeks with me and my sons, we had no idea when we would be getting together again. That was very tough on both of us and our relationship. Yet we were more than capable of riding with it and getting through the next eleven months of uncertainty has helped us to grow our love for each other. Distance was no problem because we have the technology of the internet to keep in touch as well as our smartphones which has been vital to having the fun that we both know is vital to maintaining our strong foundation.

To date, we have had ten weeks together physically which is a lot less than what other couples get. Yet, this works for us because we are strong and positive. We cherish the time we get to talk through a screen each day. There are times when we are unable to see each other through our screens to chat,  due to other commitments and our different time zones. Yet, we have never allowed these small things to create a distance between us.

Communication is vital to any relationship yet it is effective communication that gets us what we want. How long a relationship lasts is determined as to how a couple communicates with each other. It is said that those couples who commuicate effectively with each other are less likely to scream and fight where they create a distance between them.

Our relationship has it’s fair share of ups and downs like any relationship yet we talk and listen to each other with the intent to understand the other person’s viewpoint. We acknowledge and validate each other’s emotions which is vital to creating intimacy. We feel safe to reveal our vulnerabilities, weaknesses, flaws and imperfections in the presence of each other. We take time out when we feel our emotions are aroused and heightened where our logical thinking is out of the window. After a time of allowing our negative emotions to come through and settle, we then sit down and talk with each other with the intent to understand each other’s opinion. We also talk about what triggers we had, what emotions we had and get to know each other on an emotional level. Many couples neglect this important process in their relationships because they never saw their parents do it. Instead, they are creating intensity which is destructive.

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Other vital ingredients to our LDR are: positive mental attitude, solution minded, teamwork, support, understanding, agreeing to disagree, giving each other space to do our own things, sharing the good and the bad, creating time for us, showing gratitude for what each other does for our relationship, sending surprises to each other, creating mush and intimacy through words, pictures and other internet means and the most important is our own self worth.

We are only capable of loving each other when we know how to love ourselves, warts and all. We love each other’s imperfections, weaknesses and flaws.

We compliment each other’s weaknesses and that’s what makes our relationship work when we are physically together.

As we enter our third year together, we are still getting to know each other, because there are many different versions of us that needs to be explored and discovered.

Our love for each other has grown deeper each day from the past twelve months of intimacy.

Our relationship is nowhere near perfect, yet it is a love story that we are proud to share with the world and shout out “we make it work each day because we cherish each other!”

 

 

 

 

 

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