No One Looks Stupid When They Are Having fun!

Have you ever saw someone do something crazy and outrageous?  What did you think of their actions? Did it bother you? When was the last time you let your hair down, had a great laugh where you “peed your pants”?  Life is meant to be fun and having fun is vital to feeling happy and content from within.  Seriousness attracts serious consequences.

A day without laughter is a day wasted!

 

My family set up

I always loved having fun as a child, with lots of laughter, smiles, chuckling, noise and that’s what every child deserves. Yet my childhood was short and taken away from me when my mum became pregnant with my younger brother Tony. I became his “mum” because my mum didn’t speak English and she needed me to translate for her when she went to hospital to get her checks up done on her baby. So I was taking care of my mum and unborn baby brother at the age of ten. By the time Tony was born, I was taught him to be his “mum” by doing what mums do. From being the care taker of my family at a tender age, I had many childhood needs, wants and desires unmet. I was taking care of myself, going to see my doctor, dentist and buying my own clothes and shoes from age ten onwards. I was becoming self sufficient and it was overwhelming at times. Some days I got so overwhelmed that I just wanted to stay in bed and never get out of it. Other days I was feeling happy to be taking care of myself yet I longed to have my mum take care of me instead of abandoning me and neglecting me. This created so much illness for me in my adult life and it took me much sweat, tears and hard work each day to recover and heal from all the emotional pain I was carrying around for so many years of my life.

Damaged yet never defeated

I was a very damaged teenager and adult from my dysfunctional family set up. I never felt loved from my parents after Tony was born as I was abandoned to fend for myself by then.  I never had: any sort of routine, discipline or boundaries put in place after I became the big sister and mum. Home was the Chinese Take Away business my parents ran for five years. I would go straight there after school at three O’Clock, eat and sleep there until the shop closed around midnight. Then we all headed home and I would sleep until it was time to get out of bed for another day at school. School was the only place I could be a child who had her needs met. I felt happy there and I loved the attention I got from my class teacher and my class mates. I could play and have fun, I could be noisy, I could be childish, I could be what a ten year old wanted to be.

Moved From One Environment to the Next

My mum was the one who “wore the trousers” in our family and she controlled my life until I left home to escape from her ever controlling ways to begin a new chapter in my life. I was moved from one environment to the next with little notice by  mum which at the time was no problem for me because I had resiliency in me as I picked it up from mum. I had no routine at home and home was anywhere with a roof over my head. I would be taking care of four boys ( one was my younger brother ) after school in my mum’s friend’s house whilst she and her husband worked full time, long hours and they rarely had quality time to spend with their three sons. I would then be taking younger brother home by myself from parents take away shop and put him to bed. We would be home alone for a few hours until parents came home from the shop with older brother. I would then be younger brother’s full time mum at the age of fifteen to eighteen whilst parents and big brother worked full time. I was mostly on my way at home with younger brother and I was so bored and felt so lonely as I had since I took on my caretaker role from a tender age.

Prisoners to Others’ Opinion and Perceptions

The majority of us are prisoners to others’ opinion and perception of who and what we are and this is defining who we are based on others’ thoughts about us. Living like this is a very poor quality of life because we never live for ourselves, merely for what others want us to become. We never have our deep wants and desires met and we become dead inside. We kill our souls when we live in a prison from being so concerned of what Tom, Dick and Harry is going to say about our latest fun night out with our friends. “What is our neighbour going to say when we make so much noise in our garden having our friends over for a barbeque”?  “What is my mother-in-law going to think of me when I am being so crazy with my friends”?  “What is my partner going to think of me for wearing this”?

Find our true authentic selves

The majority of us have lost our true authentic selves due to shame, fear and anxiety from our family set up, childhood and the way we were brought up. We lose the connection with our heart because we were taught not to show our emotions when we were sad, angry, hurt and this suppressed our emotions. Emotions are energy in motion so when our emotions are suppressed, they are buried deep inside until we are triggered by a memory or an incident and then we become passive aggressive and life gets very messy and ugly. Learning to own our emotions, acknowledge them and allow them to pass through is the most effective way to our emotional health. Many people have mental health issues due to suppressed emotions and I am one of those people and I know so many who are or have been the same as me and most of them are still living a life of suppressing their emotions because they have yet to learn about emotional intelligence.

Own your emotions

Our emotions are powerful and serves us well when we learn to use them in the most constructive manner. Anger allows us to get what we want when we express it and use it in a healthy way. When we say to ourselves “I am feeling angry that I was not allowed to get what I wanted and I shall use my anger to get what I want”, we are taking full responsibility for our emotions instead of blaming others for how our emotions came about. Fear is also a great emotion that protects us from harm. We are told by our fear, to run when a lion approaches us and that is healthy fear. The way we handle our emotions and how we respond to them determines how our lives turn out. Emotional intelligence is now considered much more important than IQ.  The majority of people are “reactors” to whatever is given to them instead of being “responders” because they lack the emotional intelligence to handle and manage their emotions in a constructive and healthy manner. They neglect to own their emotions as they were never taught to from their childhood and set up. Living a life of constantly being a “reactor”  is toxic, draining and creates sickness, mental health issues and anxiety. We alienate people, push our loved ones away and they become scared of interacting with us so they avoid telling us the truth. We lose so much of our authentic self through this toxic kind of behaviour.

Happiness and Contentment

People who are light minded and have fun each day are more positive with life and it’s daily challenges, issues, problems, hurdles and falls, where they are able to laugh at it as it is thrown at them. They are more adaptable to change and hardship. They are those who are capable of managing adversity with a smile on their face and get on with their day without feeling that they are the “victim” to life. They are those who are resilient and never allow anything to pin them down for any length of time. They accept their life as it is, dust themselves off and pick themselves up, then they move forward and make the most of their life with whatever they have, with wherever they are at in their life. These are the people who are more likely to succeed in life because they are those who feel happy and content with their life. They do not need the social status, financial wealth, or any materialistic things to feel happy and content. They already possess that happiness and contentment from within which is what they value the most. They are the most healthy people because they are free from others’ judgement of who and what they are. They are oblivious to others’ opinion of them and this gives them the freedom to live the life they choose for themselves and not what others have chosen for them.

I became crazy, as in having fun and being light minded and to set myself free from:

  1. The social norm and expectations
  2. My dad’s expectations of who and what he wanted me to be
  3. My culture’s expectations
  4. The expectations of what is expected from a mother
  5. The expectations of what a woman should and shouldn’t do

 

Freedom To Be Who I was Born To Be

I feel so liberated to be free to live my life of who and what I was born to be without any regards of what others think or say about me. How magical is that? Having the freedom to be my true authentic self without wearing a mask to hide who and what I was born to be is truly exceptional. I wear what I desire, eat what I desire, go where I desire, be who I want to be with, do whatever I want (within reason of course), be whoever I want and desire, work in any job I desire, say whatever I want (within reason of course), all without the regards of what others shall think or say about me because I am free from all others’ opinion of me. It is none of my business what others think or say about me because I am no longer a prisoner to others’ opinion or perception of who and what I am.

Falling in love with me

I learned from reading up all I could about the Law of Attraction, that I needed to learn to love myself for who and what I am so that I could live a happy and contented life without the feelings of emptiness and loneliness I had felt since I was a young child. I am now at my happiest I have ever been in my entire life and that feeling is so light, so magical and I feel the love that I have for myself filling up each day. I no longer feel drained, exhausted or sick from the toxic shame that was holding me back from living my life just the way I was born to live. I found compassion and empathy for my mistakes, my failures, my flaws, my imperfections and my warts and all. I married myself and I am taking care of my needs, wants and desires. I am working hard each day to fulfill my life’s dreams, goals and ambitions which in turn offers me a higher quality of life. My life is ever so bright and it is my time to shine like a guiding star. I love everything about me no matter what and that is success!

Having fun each day

Fun is the most vital ingredient for a better, brighter and healthier life. Those who have forgotten how important it is to have fun and connect with our inner child are growing older much faster than those who do. For me, being crazy is so much fun because I am free to be whoever and whatever I want to be!

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We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing. George Bernard Shaw

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