Discipline is at times, a word that the adult runs away from because as children we absolutely hated it. Our inner child therefore, controls our lives when we have no self discipline. We allow things to get on top of us because we had neglected the self discipline. Something simple as putting our clothes to it’s place when we undress instead of leaving them on the floor can feel like climbing Mount Everest. I sometimes just don’t feel like brushing my teeth because my inner child is lazy. So what do I do?

Idleness breeds idleness. Action breeds action. So when I don’t feel like doing something it’s a number of things:

  1. It can be a sign that my inner child has been neglected. She wants to play yet I need to get on with my day. I neglect to talk to her and reassure her that I shall let her play when I am done with doing what I need to do
  2. I have lost my momentum for achieving my goals and I feel sad so I become lazy instead of picking myself up and keep moving forward
  3. I have neglected to have fun with myself and laugh
  4. I am stressed
  5. I am tired and or sleepy
  6. I have been neglecting my feelings and they become overwhelming
  7. I allow my negative inner voice to take control of my life
  8. I have allowed distractions to consume my time
  9. A disruption to my usual routine

So in order to get myself back on track, I have been experimenting and analysing with what works for me. I need a sound sleep of at least seven hours each night in order to have energy to see me through my day. My sleep is affected mainly by what I eat and when I eat. When I have had too much of certain foods, they affect my body,  drains it of essential energy to help me get the most out of my day and I just want to sleep. I know all this information from tracking my sleep and what I eat. I am more productive on days when I have had a sound sleep, the sun is shining and life is going smoothly.

My sleep was affected this week due to my yougest son being sick. I took him into hospital on Tuesday morning at 3.30am and we stayed until 12.30pm which meant I had a lack of sleep for one night. I had a lingering headache all day Tuesday then I felt ill the next day with cold symptoms.  My sinus affected my breathing so I had three more nights of disturbed sleep. In total, I had been sleep deprived for four nights. This affected my self discipline and I was neglecting to work on my goals. Things like these happen to us quite often so we can allow them to knock us down or we choose to recover from our illness then get back on track.

However, the momentum I had built before I fell ill with the cold has been crumbled and lost. This means I need to work from the bottom and build it back up which is my biggest challenge. My mind and body has a power struggle and guess who wins? It takes me many days of procrastination to start back getting on track with achieving my goals. Why? It is easier not to do anything than it is to do something. My mind wants to do something, anything to get back on track. Yet, my body has become lazy from resting and recovering from my illness. So when my mind tells my body to get off my lazy ass and do something, there is always without fail, a struggle or three. My body tells my mind “I don’t feel like it today, I can’t be bothered, I am tired and sleepy, let me do it tomorrow”! So it becomes a fight with mind and body until something gives way.

What happens next is rather quite extraordinary! Once I start to do something, anything and enjoy it, I feel it was such a waste of time to have to fight with my mind and body. I understand that habits are essential to achieving our goals. I also understand that we are responsible for choosing what we do and do not do. So who is it that chooses to make a start to get back on track? Is it me? Is it my inner child or my inner teenager or is it the adult me? I asked questions to analyse what holds me back from taking that first step to getting back on track.

I have come to realise that the way I talk to myself first thing in the morning before I start my day affects how productive I become. I have also learned that how I feel physically also affects my productivity. So if my sleep was disturbed then my day will be without a doubt less productive than I had planned. So how do I become better at controlling my inner voice first thing in the morning? How do I make sure that I get a sound sleep without getting disturbed during the night? My diet of course is vital to me getting  a sound sleep and also when I eat. Then, it is important that I get time to exercise to feel happy and relaxed. Last, how I spend the last two hours before I hit my pillow determines how well I sleep. So it is a combination of things, not just one, it is a combination just like a list of ingredients that are needed to bake a cake. Without the flour, our cake will never be a cake.

My emotions need to be taken care of too in order for me to get the most out of my day to become productive. Then, there’s my inner child who needs my attention and when she is not getting it, she throws a tantrum and will stop me from my productive day. That’s where a power struggle takes place and it can become rather ugly! I used to ignore her, blank her, dismiss her and neglect her. This only created more issues than necessary so I have learned my lessons well. I have a talk with her and tell her what I need to do and why. Then I explain to her that we shall play and have fun when………and she accepts that then I am allowed to achieve my goals without her pestering me.

I read in a book early in 2014 that taking a pause now and again helps use to make conscious choices. I have been practicing this and that pause I take can make such a humongous difference to success or failure which is my choice. Did you know that we make choices every minute of every day? Conscious and subconscious, we are making them constantly. So pausing for that moment to think and evaluate the consequences of our actions pays off more than we realise.

I was never taught self discipline by my parents in a constructive manner. My father is a toxic man who has no emotional intelligence and he is therefore, a rageaholic which destroyed my inner child, inner teenager and my self worth. So I worked very hard each day for the past four years and six months to build up my self worth. My mother is my biggest inspiration because of all the hardships and adversities she has endured. Yet she still has a huge smile each day and she never allows anyone or anything to keep her spirits low for any length of time. She just dust herself off, get up and give life the best she has, with whatever she has and enjoys life. She is childlike and has lots of fun which is vital to her well being and overall health.

Having fun to me, is absolutely essential to my well being, my health, my inner child, my inner teenager and for my success. I can do more in a day when I know I am going to have fun so I make it a goal of mine. I love to have a good laugh, a giggle, a boogie, a wiggle and this allows the stress to leave my body. My self discipline is determined by my mental, emotional and physical state. The three go hand in hand and without one the other two shall never function. It’s just like a car shall never get us to our destination safely without enough engine oil.

So the next time you feel like you are a failure because you are not self disciplined, analyse what is holding you back. Check in on your inner child, inner teenager and have fun with them. Also, be sure to check in on your mental, emotional and physical health. Make time to de-stress each day and take care of your own needs. Track your progress as you go along each day with achieving you goals. Write down your thoughts and what seems to bother you. Get to know what works for you and want doesn’t.

if nothing changes then we become stuck and when we regret not doing something then it is draining ourselves of our positive energy. So self discipline is one of the main ingredients to achieving our goals.